I'll start with someone else's words... because usually others say it better than we can ;)
"Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day." - Rainer Maria Rilke
I am in a place of questions, having to be happy enough with just that one half of the equation. Reading backward, this project has covered a number of musings: purpose, place, family, self- all tied into the over-arching theme of 'Home'. It is all questions, though. Sure, answers have come here or there, but the questions are usually the living part. I'm starting to realize we live in the questions. The answers- they are less fulfilling than we imagine.
The questions are moving tides. Questions require that we have a 'quest' at hand... a journey. They are alive and breathing. They sweat and hurt and sometimes laugh and always feel, and feel deeply. The 'quest'... the questions... they are the good parts. We were taught to look for the answers though- and to find them as quickly as possible.
I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't crave more 'answers' in my life. I'd also be lying, though, to say that I haven't found a new understanding of Faith in the 'questions'. To know that this journey is intentional, important, and that time is never wasted- it is a gift worth all the uncertainty.
So. Someday Soon... what? Someday Soon I will have new answers and new questions. A year ago I would have told you that by X&X date I would have achieved certain goals and answers and dreams. Now I know that's not my place to say, because I am not the author of time. Someday Soon- what will I have in that ethereal 'Someday Soon'?
Someday Soon I will have seen myself through any and all of the present challenges... and I will see how much stronger I am than I would have imagined at this present moment.
Someday Soon I will relish in time with friends and family who I feared I might lose... and I will see how the important people in life will never actually leave you.
Someday Soon I will see dreams realized that I hoped in faith for... but secretly believed would never come to fruition. And in those moments I will see a faithfulness beyond what I could ever muster.
Someday Soon... I will still be me. Maybe a different me. Maybe a bigger me. But still me.
Someday Soon I will still be standing. And that is enough for tonight's peaceful sleep :)
All my love and hope for all your dreams, and peaceful sleeps~